Identity - Who Am I?

Excerpt from Following Jesus Into College and Beyond

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By Jeff Baxter

For more than a decade Jeff Baxter has ministered to youth and their families. His passion to help the next generation know and love Jesus led him to ...

Download a PDF excerpt of this chapter from Following Jesus Into College and Beyond at the top of the page.

I'm very excited about becoming an adult, and I look forward to the rest of my life with college and starting a family some day. There are some days I think about it, and I get really nervous. But I know whatever happens in my life is for a reason. God will take care of me and be there with me no matter what. —Brittney, 17

The question, "Who am I?" is probably driving you crazy by now. In the back of your mind, or deep down in the core of your heart, you're probably still wondering what the answer is to this all important question. When you get up in the morning, look in the mirror, get ready for school, eat breakfast, brush your teeth (after you eat breakfast, I hope), drive to school, walk the halls, sit in class, go to work, and face every social situation you can think of, I bet this question pumps through your veins. Am I right? Think about it!

Whether you're already out of high school or moving closer and closer to graduation, you may feel like you should have it figured out by now. But the question remains: "Who am I really?" To make things worse, everyone else seems to know you better than you know yourself. They say, "That's not like you," and you think, How do you know what's like me? How do you know who I am?

The world may say your job, upbringing, family, or money defines you, but God says it's your relationship with him that truly defines you. (See Psalm 139:15-16.) As you move through the next stages of your life, you'll develop a better understanding of who you are. As you become more independent of your parents upon leaving high school, I hope you become more interdependent on God and a community of Jesus-followers in the context of a local church.

Discovering who you are is a bit like dancing. In this section, we'll explore some of the more challenging steps in that dance by looking at your story in Scripture, your belief in Jesus, your Godgiven design, and the role of doubts. Don't worry if you're not a good dancer. (I know I'm not!) This section will help you learn some of the basics. Before you know it, you'll be dancing like a pro.

God is the Word and the Word is God. If I want to be closer to him, I have to listen to what he's telling me. No relationship has ever worked when one person spoke and the other always chose not to listen, so how can my relationship with God work if I choose not to listen to him?—Shae, 18

A Good Narrative

We're all drawn to a good story, aren't we? Stories are fun. But what is it about a story that brings us in, grabs hold of us, and doesn't let go until there's some sort of resolution?

My uncle is a master storyteller. As long as I can remember, Uncle Deane has told stories and jokes in dramatic fashion. He draws you in with his gestures and engages you with his theatrics and vocal inflections. The golf course is one of his favorite places to tell stories. We could probably finish a round of golf a few hours earlier if it weren't for his tales, but they're worth every minute.

In The Living Reminder, author Henri Nouwen talks about the power of stories:

We can dwell in a story, walk around, and find our own place. The story confronts but does not oppress; the story inspires but does not manipulate. The story invites us to an encounter, a dialog, a mutual sharing. A story that guides is a story that opens a door and offers space in which to search and boundaries to help us find what we seek.

Stories connect with the deepest longings inside us—and I think that's because each of our lives is its own story. Our individual stories are all intimately connected. Our lives come together to form a divine tapestry—a single, great, big, human story.

When interviewing for various jobs, I've often been asked some form of the question, "What's your story?" Those interviewers wanted to know where I came from and what makes me tick. They wanted to know what was important to me and how my passions, gifts, and abilities drove me to action. Similarly, in the college and post-college ministries I've led, we ask the attendees to share their stories every week—not just their testimonies about when they came to know Jesus, but their current stories. We want to know what they're learning about life and God. We're interested in authentic connection. We long to know—really know—one another. By sharing stories, our community members learn what drives one another, what we're currently learning, and what our common struggles are. This is inspiring. This is divine tapestry.

So what's your story? Spend some time right now thinking about your past. Consider the great joys of your life as well as the hard times God has led you through. If you know Jesus, think of how you came to know him. Maybe you remember the exact point in time and could mark a date on the calendar. Or maybe you just remember how old you were when you surrendered to him. Whatever the case, God directed you to this point. Celebrate his guiding grace as we begin to think about how all of our stories connect.

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